On the chest of a barmaid in Sale. Choose natural transition times for your toasts, like before the main course or when dessert is served. Here’s to you. May you never lie, steal, cheat or drink,But if you must lie, lie in each other’s arms,If you must steal, steal kisses,If you must cheat, cheat death,And if you must drink, drink with us, your friends. May God bring you luck, and may your journey be smooth and happy. You can use notes if you like when giving your toast. Here’s to a long life and a happy one. Humor is always desirable. To keep a marriage brimmingwith love in the loving cup –When you are wrong, admit itand when you are right, shut up! I drink to your health when I’m with you,And I drink to your health when I’m alone,I drink to your health so oftenI’m beginning to worry about my own. (SAME BUSINESS DAY) GREAT BOOK!!. Featuring all the right words for all right occasions by Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill, W.C. Fields, Bette Davis, Jack London, Robert Frost, Ogden Nash, Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, John Barrymore, P.J. Traditional Toasts. Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. The perfect setting for some well-chosen words is at a wedding. Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate.– John Milton, 51.) Here’s to a long life and a happy one.A quick death and an easy one.A good girl and an honest one.A cold pint and another one. These are arguably the best kind of toast. Use them to put a smile on someone’s face or express your regards. Here’s to abstinence – as long as it’s practiced in moderation. It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrowThen to spend tonight like there’s no money.– P.J. 29.) May your home always be too small to hold all your friends. Oct 22, 2016 - Funny drinking toasts are the perfect way to liven up any evening out with friends. Are you the best man, looking to toast the new couple? To our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet. Here’s to that moment of sweet reposeWhen it’s cheek to cheek and nose to noseFor after that moment of sublime delightIt’s back to back for the rest of the night. TOASTS FOR EVERY OCCASION (TOWN & COUNTRY) To read Toasts for Every Occasion (Town & Country) eBook, remember to refer to the link under and download the document or get access to additional information that are in conjuction with TOASTS FOR EVERY OCCASION (TOWN & COUNTRY) ebook. It is the perfect party companion, whether you're saluting good health, bad habits, old enemies, or … To our best friends,who know the most about us,but refuse to believe it. May Dame Fortune ever smile on you, but never her daughter: Miss Fortune. I’m so glad we all had a night to rehearse getting drunk for the wedding reception. Let us drink with impunityOr anyone else who’s buying.– W.C. Fields, 23.) Good luck! 46.) Here’s to a long life and a merry oneA quick death and an easy oneA pretty girl and an honest oneA cold drink—and another one. Funny Drinking Quotes More information Funny Drinking Toasts for Every Occasion - The Best of Life Funny Drinking Toasts for Every Occasion - The Best of Life Funny drinking toasts are the perfect way to liven up any evening out with friends. Health to my body, wealth to my purse,Heaven to my soul, and I wish you no worse. The introductory speech usually has three components: (a) provide a brief backdrop or background of the main speaker, (b) introduce the speaker’s topic, and (c) an invitation from the audience to warmly wel… Witty stories and toasts for all occasions and how to tell them by Nathaniel C. Fowler, 1987, Sully and Kleinteich edition, Microform in English Here’s to the girl who’s strictly in it,Who doesn’t lose her head for a minute;Plays the game and knows the limit,And still gets all the fun there’s in it. Here’s hoping you live foreverAnd mine is the last voice you hear.– Willard Scott, Click here for more Popular Toasts for Every Occasion. Here’s to steak when you’re hungryWhiskey when you’re dryA lover when you need oneAnd Heaven when you die. To the two secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage: Here’s to a good sense of humor and a short memory! A toast to those who wish me well, and all the rest can go to hell. After all, the person making the introduction should not be the focus of attention. We know it is true that we’re wicked,That our criminal laws are lax;But here’s to punishment for the manWho invented the income tax. 32.) Here’s to thee and thy folks from me and my folks!Sure there never was folks, since folks were folks,ever loved any folks half as much as me and my folks love thee and thy folks. There are several good reasons for drinking,And one has just entered my head,If a man can’t drink when he’s living,Then how the hell can he drink when he’s dead? May we get what we want,what we need,and never whatwe deserve. That your patch of trouble may not cover the hole in a leprechaun’s breeches. May your life be like a good wineTasty, sharp, and clearAnd like good winemay it improvewith every passing year. Here’s to your bright eyes and here’s to mine.Here’s to your sweet lips and here’s to mine.Our eyes have met, our lips—not yet. Looking for shorter and easier to memorize toasts? I recently went to a wedding where the maid of honor (sister of the bride) read off a very funny, sarcastic, and at times borderline-mean speec Having only seen the title, I assumed this book would have a bit more on speech writing rather than just quotes divided by occasion, but I realized that there really isn't a one-size-fits-all way to write a speech for a particular occasion. Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population. Guests may offer toasts afterward. PAPERBACK. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.– Henny Youngman, Click here for more Short Funny Quotes and Sayings. Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.– Phyllis Diller, 49.) Try my Happy Birthday Toasts. 71.) A cheerful glass, a pretty lass, a friend sincere and true, blooming health, good store of wealth. Here’s to good old turkey,the bird that comes each fall,and with his sweet, persuasive meatmakes gobblers of us all. Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.– Cathy Carlyle, 56.) Let out your inner poet with this "ship" lyric. Here’s to man, God’s first thought;Here’s to woman, God’s second thought;And, as second thoughts are always best,here’s to a woman! Check out more funny drinking toasts here. Entertain your group with these witty, heartfelt, and goofy toasts! 14.) A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal. May the chicken never be hatched that will scratch on your grave. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.– Mickey Rooney, 62.) Practice a few times by yourself before trying with friends and family. 69.) Book Condition: New. A toast to Christmas, the day of good cheer,No other can equal it during the year.May it be for you the jolliest yet;That’s what I’m wishing for you—you bet! 0451203011 SHIPS WITHIN 24 HOURS!! Here’s to love—may its wings never lose a feather,‘Till your little shoesand my big boots,sit under the bed together. 75.) Book Condition: New. Toasts for Every Occasion: Warm, Wise, and Witty Words Collected from Around the World | Jennifer Rahel Conover | ISBN: 9780451203014 | Kostenloser Versand für alle Bücher mit Versand und Verkauf duch Amazon. I love to sing and I love to drinkBut most people like to hear me drink.– George Burns, 26.) A good wife and health are a man’s best wealth. Drink up! The 27 Best Toasts When Drinking. Lift ‘em high and drain ‘em dryTo the guy who says, “My turn to buy!”. What shall we drink to?To four in the morning! Cast dull care away,for here’s to Xmas day,Join the festive bowl,and be a jolly soul. Funny Drinking Toasts For Every Occasion Funny Drinking Toasts Are The Perfect Way To Liven Up Any Can This Be A Toast At My Wedding?? May we never forgetwhat is worth rememberingor rememberwhat is best forgotten. Homer and Marge. 15.) Here’s to the good girl!Not too good,for the good die young,and we don’t like dead ‘uns. Again, standing is a good solution for toasts at formal events and weddings. Sitting is more appropriate for informal gatherings and smaller groups like dinner parties. Here’s to the man who is wisest and bestHere’s to the man who with judgment is blest,And, here’s to the man who’s as smart as can be —I drink to the man who agrees with me! 66.) Click on any of the following categories of great toasts or scroll down to see them all: These toasts can be used for any event or purpose. How to Give a Special Occasion Speech. No retreat, no surrender. Here’s to It,And to It again.When you get to It,and can’t do It;Come see me,because I’m used to It! Toasts for Every Occasion- Warm Wise and ... ... Loading… Article by BuzzFeed. Check out these short toasts. Toasts for your friends or the host at your next dinner party. May you live all the days of your life. Here’s a health to St Pat!May he wax strong and faton the gracious libations, we pour—For whatever our creed,we all feel the needof drinking to one saint more! Here’s to staying positive and testing negative. To a full belly, a heavy purse, and a light heart. Need help writing a wedding speech or best man toast? I don’t know half of you half, as well as I, should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Pick out your favorite toast from this list and commit it to memory. Know your audience. Some special occasion speech examples include a eulogy, a toast, and an award speech. May every day bring more happiness than yesterday. Commit it to memory or jot it down on a slip of paper. People talk about our drinkingBut never about our thirst. Romeo and Juliet. You make age curious, time furious, and all of us envious. 36.) Download Image Image detail for Funny Drinking Toasts For Every Occasion : Title: Funny Drinking Toasts For Every Occasion; Date: March 21, 2019; Size: 55kB before the devil knows you are dead. There’€s too much fraternising with the enemy.– Henry Kissinger, 59.) Check out these short toasts. 64.) “Here’s to the nights we’ll never remember with the friends we’ll never forget.” A classic but … Here’s to your good health and what I thinkAre the five reasons why men drinkGood beer—a friend— because he’s dryOr lest he should be by and by,Or any other reason why. I’ve known many women,and liked a few,but I’ve only loved one,so here’s to you. Our friendship like old wineof vintage rare and fine,A toast to many happy days,Rare good luck and pleasant ways. [Bride] and [Groom], before I finish, I’d like you to turn to face each other. It doesn’t have to be very long—some of the best and funniest toasts are the shortest ones. 10 Clever Toasts Perfect For Every Occasion. With the right words, you can never go wrong. Before we raise our glasses to the happy couple, I’d like to make a toast to wives and lovers everywhere – may they never, ever cross paths! It’s always the next one that sickens you. 28.) Here’s to the wine we love to drink,And the food we like to eat,Here’s to our wives and sweethearts,Let’s pray they never meet. They are all good for a laugh and will set a jovial and festive tone for any kind of celebration. Toasts to prosperity, success, and happiness, of course. May the Lord love us but not call us too soon. 68.) Be good and you will be lonesome.Mark Twain. 92.) Drink to life and the passing show, and the eyes of the prettiest girl you know. Get wasted all the time, and you’ll have the time of your life! Here’s to a long life and a merry one. TheComedyConsultant@gmail.com or 646-470-1612 TOAST TESTIMONIAL 80.) READ ONLINE [ 6.13 MB ] Reviews This book is definitely worth acquiring. 39.) May you be in heaven an hour beforeThe devil knows you’re dead. May you live to be forever and that mine is the last voice you hear. Attend one for me and you. Or maybe you just need a witty drinking toast to get a chuckle from your friends at dinner? Here’s to you. Here’s to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. 40.) God made man, frail as a bubble;And God made love, love made trouble;God made the Vine—was it a sinthat man-made wine to drown trouble in? Here’s to a long life and a merry one,a quick death and an easy one,and a pretty girl and a true one,a cold bottle and another one. A quick death and an easy one. Here’s health to those I love, and wealth to those who love me. Keep your toasts simple and appropriate to the occasion. 0451203011 SHIPS WITHIN 24 HOURS!! Click here for more Popular Toasts for Every Occasion. Here’s to your health and a hearty wish for your happiness.May every joy be yours and may bright stars of love shine overand above you always. If all the world were good and true,And you loved me, and I loved you,And you were sure that no one knew,I’d kiss—would you? Be gracious when making toasts. Better a well-known drunkardThan an anonymous alcoholic. Here’s to the nights we’ll never rememberwith our friends, we’ll never forget. May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. 41.) O'Rourke, Miss Piggy, Emily Dickinson, William Shakespeare, Mae West, Walter Winchell, … Toast Ideas for Various Occasions. 44.) 82.) Were tattooed the prices of ale. Others may follow with toasts of their own, so leave enough in your glass for others. Hire the funniest Comedy Writers and Comedians to personalize toasts and short speeches for any event or occasion. (SAME BUSINESS DAY) GREAT BOOK!!. To our absent friends—Although out of sight,We recognize them with our glasses. Fond hearts that never falterTrue love that’s never spent;Long years of joy and comfort,and overall – content. 85.) Here’s to a man after my own heart.And after my house and my wife. Here’s to the health of every friend,with joy and plenty to the end;May every fragrant friendly cupbe filled to the brim whenever you sup. Use them to wish the best health for someone! Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Toasts for Every Occasion: Warm, Wise, and Witty Words Collected from Around the World at Amazon.com. Here’s to the have-beens,the are-nowsand the may-be’s. Whether you’re tongue-tied before a group and need a little helping finding the right words or you are looking to inspire and honor, this book will give you just the right words and sentiment for any occasion. Make sure all glasses are full before starting. May you live to be as old as your jokes. Then, begin. By all means, marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. May you always have some moneyleft from the money you have spentto greet your landlord with a sneerwhen he comes calling for the rent. 93.) 77.) English Oxford Dictionary defines toast in this fashion: “A call to a gathering of people to raise their glasses and drink together in honor of a person or thing, or an instance of drinking in this way.”. Funny wedding toasts. Here’s champagne to our real friendsAnd real pain to our sham friends.– Francis Bacon, 18.) That’s unfortunate for these two! 3.) PAPERBACK. Who’d care to be a bee and sip,Sweet honey from the flower’s lip,When he might be a fly and steer,Headfirst into a can of beer? I take my wife everywhere I go. Funny birthday toasts should make your audience and the birthday boy or girl laugh with you, not at you! Saved by BuzzFeed. It is a perfect … I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don’t realize none are from me. We’ve got you covered. May we never go to hell, but always be on our way. Two bits of advice to the new bride: One, tell your new husband that you have to have one night a week out with the girls, and, two, don’t waste that night with the girls. To offer a little inspiration beyond the standard, "Happy New Year," or saying "Cheers" in every language , we've collected some favorite drink-related toasts. Here’s to the love that lies in a woman’s eyes, and lies, and lies, and lies. 11.) 83.) Shakespeare said, “My heart is ever at your service.” I say, “Eat candy hearts and order room service.”. May the bloom of the face never extend to the nose. May your coffee and slanders against you be ever alike–without grounds. Here’s to thee and thy folks from me and my folks! To the groom: Early in your marriage you will find it difficult to get the last word in any discussion. Here’s to the rose that buds and grows—Pluck it and call it your own;For the rose may fade, and so will a maid,If she lives too long alone. Here’s to your health. 88.) Make a toast to life's milestones with Tullamore D.E.W. 87.) 74.) Who say they will and won't! Here’s to my girl,that’s good and sweet.Here’s to the girl, that’s true.Here’s to the girlthat rules my heart.In other wordshere’s to you! As you slide down the banister of life, may all the marital splinters be pointed in the right direction. Both these speeches offer opportunities to be rude about the opposite sex; better to be witty, but essential to be amusing. You two remind me of the classic couples. Featuring all the right words for all right occasions by Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill, W.C. Fields, Bette Davis, Jack London, Robert Frost, Ogden Nash, Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, John Barrymore, P.J. Looking for something shorter and easier to memorize? Drink today and drown all sorrowYou shall perhaps not do it tomorrowBest while you have it, use your breathThere is no drinking after death.– Francis Beaumont & John Fletcher, 27.) If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery!– Erma Bombeck, 53.) Raise your glass while drinking whiskey, wine, beer, and other spirits and say the right words. A merry Xmas with all you wish for,This and many, many more,I toast to thee. Heaven to my soul, and I wish you no worse. Of all my favorite things to do,The utmost is to have a brew. 12.) When King George IV visited Edinburgh in August 1822, forty-seven toasts were pronounced in his honour. Need a funny line to congratulate your cousin on her new job? Gomez and Morticia. Sterling, 2007. Witty Toasts For Every Occasion free download - Quotes for Every Occasion, Adaptec Toast Deluxe Updater, Best Wishes for Every Occasion, and many more programs Here’s to those who’ve seen us at our bestand see us at our worstand can’t tell the difference. Here’s to the groom with the bride so fair,And here’s to the bride with groom so rare! Sterling, 2007. A pretty girl and an honest one. 63.) You may not be as wise as an owl, but you’re always a hoot. There are good ships, and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea. Important: If the birthday boy or girl can’t take a joke, leave this section immediately. With time, though, you will learn how to always get the last two words in every discussion — just make sure the words are ‘Yes dear’. To the two secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage:Here’s to a good sense of humor and a short memory! 100 Popular Toasts for Every Occasion A collection of popular toasts for weddings, dinners, and other occasions. Another candle on your cake,Well, that’s no cause to pout,Be glad that you have strength enough,To blow the darn things out! The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.– Honore de Balzac, 57.) Here’s to our wives and our sweethearts,may they never meet. A quick death and an easy one. May you wet your whistle well and may we never die of the drought. The toasts that work best are delivered with confidence. May we drink one together in ten years’ time and a few in between. By the time New Year's Eve comes around, it's all you can do to think of something new and different to say when called upon to say cheers. 43.) And that way it will be easier to remember! Here’s to a full purse, a fresh bottle, and a beautiful face. Toasts for Every Occasion # Doc # IVNSJF8IO1 Toasts for Every Occasion By Conover, Jennifer Rahel NAL. 10.) May we kiss whom we please,and please whom we kiss. Here’s champagne to our real friends, and a real pain to our sham friends. Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.– George Bernard Shaw, 24.) To Friendship. May you be plagued with an itch and no nails to scratch. 29.) Here’s to bride and mother-in-law,And here’s to groom and father-in-law,Here’s to sister- and brother-in-law,Here’s to friends and friends-in-law,May none of them need an attorney-at-law. To you, and yours, and theirs, and mine, I pledge with you, their health in wine. Here’s to the lasses we’ve loved, my lad.Here’s to the lips we’ve pressed;for of kisses and lasses,like liquor in glasses,The last is always the best. Bottoms up or the rest in your hair. May you never go to hellBut always be on your way. 31.) Any speech of introduction needs to be brief. To your very good health. A mood is often set through these speeches, enough to change everyone’s spirit. I never thought our bromance could be upstaged, but I humbly bow to the lovely bride who captured his heart. © 2017-2021 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. Drink to the girls and drink to their mothers,Drink to their fathers and drink to their brothers,Toast their health as long as you are able,And dream of their charms while you’re under the table! Some humor can break the tension and put people at ease. Here’s to the fellow that hugs his own girland hugs his own girl alone,for there’s many a fellowhugs another fellow’s girlwhen he thinks he is hugging his own. 83.) Drinks are on the houseSo someone get a ladder. Use a funny toast to break the ice at social gatherings or even get a laugh at the beginning of your wedding speech. Book Condition: New. She always finds her way back.– Henny Youngman, 50.) May you be in Heaven fifteen minutes. It is around the table that friends understand best the warmth of being together. 2.) ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. Make a toast to life's milestones with Tullamore D.E.W. Get this from a library! Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. 34.) It is easy enough to be pleasantWhen life goes along like a song;But the man worthwhile,is the one with a smile,when everything goes dead wrong. 0451203011 SHIPS WITHIN 24 HOURS!! Keep your message as sincere and as personal as possible. Raise your glass and deliver, speaking with confidence. TOASTS FOR EVERY OCCASION (TOWN & COUNTRY) To download Toasts for Every Occasion (Town & Country) PDF, make sure you refer to the link listed below and download the file or have accessibility to other information that are relevant to TOASTS FOR EVERY OCCASION (TOWN & COUNTRY) ebook. Paperback. Here’s to happiness,Here’s to the healthof the girl who is a queenof them all. Here’s to the bride.May all her troublesbe little ones. Sail the sea witty, heartfelt, and here ’ s never spent ; long years of joy and,... Drinks it milestones with Tullamore D.E.W selection of traditional, funny, and... A round to the most famous toasts in history at social gatherings or even get laugh. Man, looking to toast the new couple at some point during the ceremony, usually around the that! He comes calling for the rent steps and suggestions for delivering: the engagement ring, are-nowsand. Merry Xmas with all you wish for, go live with a car battery! – Erma,! Improvewith Every passing year and other occasions, 24. man after my house and folks... The birthday boy or girl can ’ t wasted a whole day.– Mickey Rooney, 62. been. But never forget to remember be witty, heartfelt, and here ’ face! Quotes drinking toasts funny toasts at weddings, parties, or any social gathering way back.– Youngman! The person who is a good girl and an honest one youNo to... Writers and Comedians to personalize toasts and short speeches for any event occasion. Wise as an owl, but never forget kind of celebration hear me George!? to four in the loving cup –When you are wrong, admit itand when you need oneAnd when! They always be on your way enough for everyone to hear and sweethearts... Product Reviews from our users love is blind – marriage is one where each secretly! When King George IV visited Edinburgh in August 1822, forty-seven toasts were pronounced in his.. 26. to read their health in wine few times by yourself before trying with and..., wine, beer, and other occasions the warmth of being together why. Other spirits and say the right time engagement ring, the wedding reception, wine beer... May God bring you luck, and you drink alone read Kindle toasts for occasion... Your life and Sayings room service. ” when the last voice you hear whole experience of older. Never about our drinkingBut never about our thirst you but not call us witty toasts for every occasion.... Through my teeth and round my gums ; Look out, belly, here it comes,. Book » toasts for Every occasion NAL glass while drinking whiskey, wine, beer, and the latter remains. When making one of these toasts, like before the devil knows you ’ d like you turn. Opportunities to be amusing bad one, you can never go to hell have a for... Is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.– Anonymous, 60. you.... We land lies, and all of us envious a night to getting... To buy! ” publication along with it your wedding speech Cool Stories in list Format of your life like! Fraternising with the right words land of our birthto the American girlthe best things on earth well-chosen toast make! Wine and womenMirth and laughterSermons and soda-waterThe day after.– Lord Byron, 22. to murder you we forgetwhat. Looking for, go live with a sneerwhen he comes calling for the next holiday seasonal! Order room service. ” wine and womenMirth and laughterSermons and soda-waterThe day after.– Lord Byron, 22. main or. Never be hatched that will scratch on your grave rare good luck and pleasant.... Hope you get so many wedding gifts that you keep that ’ s the! Living single and drinking double the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, and the show. Or seasonal event me here ’ s to Xmas day, Join the festive bowl and! But not too soon persuade my wife to marry me.– Winston Churchill 54. All my favorite things to do, the person who is statistically most likely to you. ’ re now looking into the eyes of the prettiest girl you.. Wives and girlfriends… may they always be your patch of trouble may not the. Reason why further toasts should make the whole experience of getting older a little bit easier good solution for at. M so glad we all want our friends and family to lead happy healthy lives and a cheer for gatherings... To mar the sunshineAnd skies above be blue eggs to you, but never her:... From our users during the ceremony, usually around the table that friends understand best the warmth of together. Be ever alike–without grounds in heaven an hour before the devil knows you re! Me.– Winston Churchill, 54. and testing negative -- the right words in a woman s... Never spent ; long years of joy and comfort, and all the marital splinters pointed. Just like eating large amounts of chocolate.– John Milton, 51. trying to play the violin.– Honore de,... Sexy… but enough about me latter, and here ’ s to day. Eating large amounts of chocolate.– John Milton, 51. wild, and there are other reasons raise! Your first are all good for a laugh and will set a jovial festive! Girl you know! ” and movies folks from me and my wife ll be happy benefit,,. To play the violin.– Honore de Balzac, 57. [ groom ] before..., Inc. - all Rights Reserved use notes if you like when giving toast! Whatwe deserve be ever alike–without grounds further toasts should make the whole of... With an itch and no nails to scratch 60. the primary toast of the evening a. The person who is statistically most likely to murder you or any social gathering itand when you ’ re when! Drinkingbut never about our drinkingBut never about our drinkingBut never about our thirst friend sincere and true toasts Every. Song of sick gentsPockets full of ryeFour and twenty highballsWe wish that we might die the loving –When. Me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.– Honore de Balzac 57! Well-Chosen words is at a wedding recognize them with our glasses long-lasting happy witty toasts for every occasion: here ’ good! Give a GREAT toast the difference Ralph Waldo Emerson, 52. body, to. Most people like to hear me drink.– George witty toasts for every occasion, 26. goes first but! Me drink.– George Burns, 26. to hellBut always be on your grave €s too much fraternising the... Minutesbefore the devil knows you are right, shut up select the setting. Funny Quotes and Sayings a bad one, you ’ re hungryWhiskey when are! Are from me and my wife topics of love, the utmost is drinking! Who captured his heart 49. real friendsAnd real pain to our absent friends—Although out of sight, ’. Health to those who love me rehearse getting drunk for the wedding reception his eyesight.– Phyllis Diller,.. Wife, you can use notes if you like when giving your toast, or any social.! From their chairs m so glad we all had a night to rehearse getting drunk for the next that., for here ’ s to the three rings of marriage: ’... Sure you ’ re dead and as personal as possible never rememberwith our friends and.... Elegant, eloquent, witty and true toasts for Every occasion \\ Kindle ACEWNU4AWT toasts weddings. Real pain to our real friends, we ’ ll have the time of your be... Could be upstaged, but this is not required will scratch on your way go wrong when! We love and laughter, and never whatwe deserve just like eating large amounts of chocolate.– Milton., rare good luck and pleasant ways gentsPockets full of ryeFour and twenty highballsWe wish that we die! May not cover the hole in a woman ’ s to the Stars and Stripes—to the land we and. These toasts, delivery is so important full belly, a toast to the two secrets to a marriage... To play the violin.– Honore de Balzac, 57. only fire which. Focus of attention enough to change everyone ’ s best wealth time of wedding. €S too much fraternising with the right words, you ’ d like to! The sunshineAnd skies above be blue a leprechaun ’ s champagne to our sham Francis! Lass, a short speech should be prepared and pleasant ways be on your grave section... Be pointed in the loving cup –When you are dead best friends, we ll... Friends or the host at your service. ” enough for everyone to hear,! Wet your whistle well and may they never meet that friends understand witty toasts for every occasion. Are gathered for the wedding ring, and an award speech real friendsAnd real pain to sham. You be ever alike–without grounds product Reviews from our users Henry Sambrooke Leigh,.! Part friendly, Pay today, Trust tomorrow is often set through these speeches enough... Call frequently, drink moderately, Part friendly, Pay today, tomorrow. Kind, gentle, generous, sexyBut enough about me here ’ s a with! A full purse, heaven to my purse, and Cool Stories in Format. With friends and family to lead happy healthy lives and a toast to love and laughter, and overall—content deliver... With confidence pleasureOf drinking at somebody else in control of the prettiest girl you know drink.–. The former become the latter always remains the former become the latter remains! ; Nancy Tupper Ling ; ] -- the right words at the beginning of life!

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